So today I am 40 yrs old. I thought that I would be at some other place, somewhere else, doing what my hearts desire was. I had a lot of aspirations for myself a lot of goals. I never thought that there would be so many obstacles in the way. I never thought that I would suffer so much loss in my life, never thought that I would go through times where I was barely clinging on to that last thread of hope that God had given me. You see I have gone through the wringer in my life several times. If you were to ask people that know me, you would here them say, "Chris, by every definition is a miracle." No, I do not bear scars that you can see, I do not have any fantastic stories of how God saved me from sex, drugs and rockin' roll. Just a whole lot of getting beat up in life, a whole lot of being abandoned by people I loved, whether by sudden death, or by them choosing to leave on their own accord, suddenly, or ...